Glimmers vs Triggers
Supporting ourselves with the small things
As you read this, I should be in the Lake District with my husband, parents and my sister, ready for a week of fresh air, gorgeous scenery and (potentially) some swimming.
As is often the case before a holiday (or is it just me?), the last couple of weeks have been especially jam-packed, partly with work stuff and partly because I’ve been finishing some assignments.
So I’ve been doing my best to do the things that I know help me keep the stress levels manageable - getting outside, moving, meditating, making a plan etc etc. And it definitely helps when I do it, although sometimes the actually doing it feels easier than others!
I’ve learnt that when I’m under pressure, doing what I can to keep my nervous system calm and regulated is the most important (and most productive) thing I can do.
Because when I’m stressed, I can misjudge things, it’s harder to make decisions and tricker to problem solve. And I don’t know about you, but I find that small things can easily trigger a bit of a stress spiral.
Triggers
And for lots of us, there’s so many things that can act as these “triggers” for stress, sending our bodies and our brains into a fight or flight response. Maybe the laptop needing an urgent reboot, being critisised at work, getting stuck in traffic, an argument with a loved one - the big things and the little things both have the same impact on our physiology from a nervous system perspective.
But what if there were triggers that have the opposite effect? That quickly send us towards a calm, connected and more positive way of being? Well, yes, these do exist, and most of us experience many of these each and every day.
Glimmers
They are known as “glimmers,” a term coined by Deb Dana (2018). When we experience glimmers, they signal a sense of safety, connection and groundedness to our nervous system that allows the body to reduce production of stress hormones. Our breathing and heart rate slows and blood vessels gently relax, lowering blood pressure. This means that we physically feel more relaxed. From a cognitive perspective, we can problem solve and are able to access more creative thinking patterns. Emotionally, we often feel more open to connection with others, and we might feel more open-minded to new experiences.
So, as you can see, noticing and seeking these glimmers in our day to day lives is important - especially if you’re busy and under pressure. And the good news is that it isn’t necessarily something you need to go out of your way to do, and it doesn’t need to take any additional time.
It’s about taking the time to become aware of what your personal glimmers are and consciously seeking these out in the day to day.
And most of us do this anyway to a certain extent. We might choose clothes that we enjoy wearing, either because of how they make us feel wearing them, or because they are extra comfortable. We might choose perfumes that remind us of happy times, or have a holiday photo on the desk.
Glimmers aren’t just physical things, they can be experiences, moments and relationships too.
My invitation is to start becoming aware of your personal glimmers. What helps you to feel calm, connected or sparks joy?
Here’s a few of my glimmers, in no particular order:
My dog Buddy and my cats Alfie and Elsa
Nice stationary
Voicenotes
Wool socks
Catching up with friends
Fresh flowers
Writing in a journal with thick paper and a coloured fountain pen
A tidy desk
Wearing a loose jumpsuit with pockets
Candles
Being out in nature
Some blank space in my calendar
And with this awareness, it can allow us to plan our days and our weeks a little more consciously to support our own wellbeing - for example, if you have a meeting that you expect to be challenging, how can you seek out some glimmers either side of that. How can you add some more glimmers into your physical work environment? What about at home?
I’d love to hear about your personal glimmers - as always feel free to reply or leave a comment below.
As I’m on holiday this week, there may not be an email next Saturday - I’m going to go with the flow.
Have a brilliant weekend,
Rachael x
More about coaching with me:
If you think you’d benefit from re-evaluating your work-life balance and taking back control of your wellbeing and career (even when you’ve got a lot on your plate), then coaching with me could help.
You can take a look at all of my coaching offerings here. If you know that it’s time to make some changes, and you need some professional and compassionate coaching to support you with this, then let’s have a chat.
You can book an enquiry call here or reply to this email if you’ve got questions.
What happens on these calls? Good question! We’ll have a chat about your situation and I can explain how I could support you to find the balance that you’re craving. There’s never any pressure on these calls - if you’d like to take things further (and we both feel it’s a good fit) then I’ll email you details afterwards, as well as a coaching agreement and payment details - but if not, we’ll go our separate ways, hopefully having had a lovely and insightful chat!