Hello! What’s gone well for you this week? I’ve been loving this surprise encore of summer that we’ve been having…it’s been making the post-holiday return home a lot easier!
I’ve had lots of chats in the last couple of weeks with clients, friends and patients around the importance of prioritising our own wellbeing - and of course, this sounds obvious, it’s not rocket science!
But the reality is that this can be really tricky to do - and often there’s a sense of being able to ‘get away with’ not doing so - until it’s starting to have a real affect on things.
I know for me, when I was on my way to burnout, I would tell myself that taking care of myself wasn’t as important as work, it wasn’t as important as other people and that it definitely wasn’t on my list of priorities. And even now, when things are busy, those automatic thoughts still pop up… “there’s too much to do to spend time exercising today, I’ll go tomorrow so I can do another hour of work” is a familiar story that I tell myself from time to time.
And if you’ve ever danced with burnout, you’ll know that there’s so much guilt, frustration and sometimes anxiety that comes with taking care of yourself - which of course, just feeds into the pressure that you’re putting on yourself.
But what if we looked at things another way and considered how things might be different if we chose to prioritise our wellbeing as much as our work? As much as our achievements and our productivity?
What might that be like for you?
I'm sharing (with consent) the story of Sarah, a previous coaching client. She is a brilliant example of the benefits that come from prioritising our wellbeing - even when we have a LOT on our plate….
Sarah's Story:
Sarah is a very ambitious and successful creative business owner (following many years of working as an HR director). She is also a single parent to two gorgeous boys, one of whom has additional needs and she is also navigating perimenopause. She has a lot of responsibility - both emotionally and financially, as well as a huge creative drive, meaning that she loves her work but is used to having to work long hours to get everything done, which in turn was starting to affect her physical and emotional health, as well as her ability to be present for her family in the way that she wanted to be…and she was recognising the fatigue, the loss of confidence and the anxiety that comes with the early stages of burnout.
She knew that she needed to make some changes, but was worried about the impact of doing so on her work - after all, she owns the business and is the breadwinner.
We explored her underlying beliefs and fears around prioritising her wellbeing and how this might impact her,
Our work together
In our first session together, Sarah was able to identify why it was so important to her to be able to put her wellbeing first and the beliefs and habits that had been stopping her from doing so. She also identified her longer-term vision and values for herself and her family - which would require making some changes to how she works and her business model.
She was able to unpick precisely what she needed to change initially - including implementing boundaries - and, more importantly, how she could approach these changes with kindness and grace for herself. She set herself some intentions for what she wanted to do differently over the coming weeks.
Over the following weeks, Sarah was able to start to implement the changes she had decided to put into place. I always encourage framing this as a period of experimentation - seeing what feels good, what doesn't, what feels tricky and looking at how you can overcome the challenges that you face.
The biggest aspect of working with people to help them prioritise their wellbeing is not knowing what we should be doing. Most of us have a good idea of what we need to do differently, and most of us are used to achieving and getting things done when we need to.
The essence of this work is more about understanding the beliefs that stop us putting our wellbeing first. The beliefs about not being worthy, needing to be productive all the time, being selfish if we take time for ourselves, validating ourselves with our work, overworking to prove ourselves, people pleasing…the list goes on. These are what makes putting our wellbeing first so tricky - and yet it IS possible to do things differently - even if that feels radical.
What Sarah said:
Working with Rachael helped me to accept the fact that I have a finite amount of time/energy & creativity, and that I can't do everything! I started to give myself permission to take time off to relax at the end of the working day - with family, friends and alone. Leaving guilt behind was a big issue for me.
…After completing our work together, I find I'm so much better at being kinder to myself, recognising the stress signs in myself, and if I feel myself slipping back into old habits, I "regroup" and start again rather than giving up..
…As a result, I'm feeling happier and more relaxed…I’m working smarter, not longer. I'm relaxing more in the evenings and most weekends, which in turn is giving me more energy to focus on the working week.”
Thanks to investing the initial time and energy involved in having coaching, and learning how to be kinder to herself and challenging her beliefs about rest and productivity, Sarah's been able to transform her approach to taking care of herself. She now recognises the benefits of managing her energy, not just her time and is able to work smarter rather than longer. And, in turn, she felt motivated and confident in making bigger changes relating to her work and long term career - demonstrating the “domino effect” of wellbeing.
Do you resonate with any parts of Sarah's story? If you're thinking that, like Sarah, you need to start to prioritise your own wellbeing before you burnout - but know that there's more to it than simply logging off at 5pm and skipping happily into your evening, then I've got some self coaching questions for you to consider below, so grab a pen!
And if, like Sarah, you’d like to explore how working together 1-1 can support you to feel brilliant again, not burnt out, then check out my Shine Bright coaching programme or complete the enquiry form here and I’ll be in touch.
Self coaching questions for you
What would be different if your wellbeing could take more of a priority than it does now?
How would you feel?
What would be the benefits to you, your work, your relationships?
What would reprioritising your wellbeing look like on a practical level?
What would your day look like?
What would be the downsides of making your wellbeing more of a priority?
What is stopping you from doing this? How could you overcome these challenges?
What is small one thing you can do today, tomorrow or this week as part of reprioritising your wellbeing?
Have a fantastic weekend!
Rachael x
How I can support you:
Check out my September Energy mini workshop - start your autumn with intention
Dive into my substack archives and read all the previous pieces here
The Career Wellbeing Scorecard is short quiz that gives you a snapshot of your overall work and personal wellbeing. It takes 3 minutes (or just under) and you will get sent a link to a self-coaching workbook afterwards that helps you to understand how to nurture and grow your score.
1-1 coaching: Evidence-based coaching that supports you to live and work in a way that feels good - and allows you to be the person you want to be - instead of always feeling busy, burntout and being consumed by your to-do list. If you’d like to find out more, check out my Shine Bright coaching programme here. If you’d like to discuss working together, you can complete the enquiry form here and we can arrange a time to have a chat.
Outside of my coaching work - I work privately as a GP and (peri)menopause specialist at Rowena Health, seeing patients remotely by videolink. I offer individualised and evidence based care that supports hormonal health. I’m also starting to provide talks and educational events around women’s health to organisations and groups - do get in touch if you’d like to discuss arranging a talk.