One of my favourite coaching questions to be asked when I’m being coached myself is ‘what else could be true here?’
Because so often we can end up stuck in tunnel vision, and are only able to see a very limited path forward.
The other week I was sensing a real sense of dread about a project I’m working on. I was feeling a combination of:
behind schedule
fearful that I wouldn’t be able to do it well enough
needing it to be perfect
worried that I wouldn’t get it done in time
So my brain decided that, of course, this project isn’t something I should be doing and that I should either postpone it indefinitely or never do it at all, so I can avoid the discomfort of doing something that feels too uncertain or risky.
Easy. Problem solved 😂
But when I unpicked what was really going on here, I realised I was viewing this scenario through my oh-so-familiar tunnel vision goggles.
Because what was also true about the project I was stuck on was - it didn’t need to be perfect, it just needed to be done. I wanted to do it. I also could ask someone for some advice on the parts that were new to me. It would be an opportunity for learning and developing. I would feel better once it was done and it didn’t need to take too long.
Very different to my initial appraisal of the situation!
And yet the tunnel vision goggles come out in so many aspects of our lives, particularly when we’re stressed, tired and feeling burnt out,
It’s a a very natural response to pressure and threat as part of our evolutionary survival response - and it has evolved to help us to focus on the key task in hand (in caveman/woman times this might have been gathering food, finding shelter or running away from the famous tiger) whilst being primed to see any danger on the horizon.
And while most of us are fortunate enough to not have to think about our day to day survival, these primal responses haven’t yet caught up with the fact that we don’t necessarily need to rely on them for our modern day survival.
And yet having a challenging interaction with someone, making a tough decision about your future career or working to a tight deadline can all potentially see us peering down the lens of tunnel vision.
And like lots of things, it’s a tricky spiral, because once you’re looking at things with the pessimism of tunnel vision, this will often just make you feel more stressed, exaggerating the negativity of doom-laden thoughts and bodily sensations.
But the reality is - when we can take a step back and ask ourselves what else could be true here - then this opens up a whole other perspective. And perspective enables us to question our thinking and gives us choice and agency over our decisions and actions.
Which is so important for building self-trust and inner confidence - particularly when you’re feeling under pressure or navigating a big transition. And this perspective-gaining and agency-building is one of the reasons that coaching is so effective - it’s much easier to see when you’re stuck in tunnel vision when you’re working 1-1 with someone who is external to your life and circumstances.
And it’s also something you can explore yourself through writing and journalling.
Here’s an exercise I recommend. It will take 5-10 minutes:
I invite you to bring to mind a situation that you’re finding challenging.
Write down what you are finding challenging about this situation, how you’re feeling about it and what your beliefs are about the situation and your options.
Next, write down what else could be true about this situation, your options and any other possibilities that could exist. Think laterally and outside the box if you wish.
From this, write down which perspectives and actions you’d like to take forward.
This isn’t about toxic positivity and ‘positive vibes only’, but instead about having a more balanced, supportive and optimistic approach to your situation.
Notice how your perspective might have shifted a little - it’s not necessarily about a complete reframe - often a small shift or positive opening is all we need.
Have a brilliant weekend,
Rachael x
Perfect timing for this post Rachael - thank you! The exercise that you share is great.